Secrets of a Baby Vamp
by StalkeeBrew22
Summary: From the author of "There's a Vampire in My Basement." What if Jessica kept a diary after she became one of the undead? True Blood from Jessica's point of view. Please read and review! Rated M mostly for language and some sexual/morbid humor.
1. Chapter 1

_**(**Disclaimer: All characters are the property of True Blood/HBO and much of the dialogue is taken directly from the show. Otherwise, it's all me, baby!**)**_

Dear Diary,

This is so dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. Like, who even has a diary these days, anyway? What am I- twelve? I can't believe I'm even writing in here, but I don't have anything else to do so...I guess I'll start with how I got started with this stupid thing in the first place.

My name is Jessica. Jessica Hamby. I'm seventeen and I have red hair and blue eyes. I'm also a vampire. The reason I'm a vampire writing in a diary instead of doing cool stuff like drinking people's blood and kicking ass is because of Bill. Bill Compton is my "Maker," which means he's the one who turned me into a vampire. Turning me into a vampire was really scary and Bill didn't want to do it, but some other vampire bosses of his made him. It hurt- a lot- and I had to sleep in the cold ground; I barely remember that night now, though. But sometimes during the day I have bad dreams about it…

Anyway, even though I didn't want to become a vampire, I was cool with it afterwards. I mean, how awesome- how fucking awesome- are vampires? You can kill anyone who gets in your way, no one ever makes fun of you 'cause they're scared of you and you can wear super bad-ass clothes! I saw these sexy leather knee-high boots one time in a magazine at the dentist's office: they had really high heels and were shiny and laced all the way up. They would look totally fierce on me now that I'm a vamp and Momma and Daddy don't tell me how to dress. But noooooo, none of that for me 'cause I'm stuck with Mr. Bill Boring Compton, who treats me like I'm in Kindergarten.

It's kinda weird that even cares 'cause, like, he seemed to want to get rid of me as quickly as possible. He sent me to live with Eric (he's the vampire sheriff of Area 5 here in Louisiana and a total hottie) before I was even one night old. I thought Bill was sort of a douchebag for giving me away before he even got to know me, but it was more fun living with Eric at his bar Fangtasia. He let me stay up all night dancing and wear whatever I wanted and he let me feed on really hot guys as long as I didn't do it in public where the cops could see me. But after a while I got kind of...I dunno, lonely I guess. There was no one there for me to really talk to. The humans who worked at Fangtasia were mostly scared of me or only wanted to have sex with me, but Eric never let me be with humans alone.

"Feeding and fucking are too closely intertwined," he told me. "It actually matters to me very little what you do, but if humans are killed in my bar because you can't control yourself, I will have to deal with the human police and their questions, the patrons will be scared, and Fangtasia might even get shut down." I tried to ask how you feed on someone without killing, but he just walked off and told me not to get in anybody's way. After that he pretty much acted like I didn't exist. Pam, Eric's second in command, wouldn't answer any of my questions either. She only gave me some clothes and showed me where the spare coffin was.

And then one night, I almost killed a man.

His name was Caleb, this fangbanger I met one night. I didn't even know his last name. I had slipped away from Eric's watchful eye and met Caleb in the men's restroom. I swear I didn't realize how much of his blood I'd had, I just knew I was so hungry and he tasted _so_ good. He was moaning with pleasure for the first few seconds, then he got quieter, and then he was screaming, screaming for me to stop. But I couldn't. I covered his mouth with my hand and held him down firmly with my other. Then I sucked on his neck harder, trying to glean every delicious drop that I could. Next thing I knew, I was thrown to the cold, hard tile of the restroom floor.

"Are you trying to kill him?" Eric shouted angrily down at me.

"I...I didn't mean to!" I shouted right back, starting to cry. "I don't know how to stop!"

"Move, you little fool." Eric hissed, and swept past me to kneel in front of Caleb. He spoke to him very quietly and gently- much more gently than he'd spoken to me- he told him everything was fine, that he was just a little tired and woozy from partying too hard, that there was no reason to panic.

I stared, mesmerized, as he kept eye contact with the man, who nodded blankly. Before I could ask how he'd done it, Pam burst through the door, almost as if she'd been summoned. She noted me on the floor and Caleb's bloody neck. "Holy fuck. Is he dead?"

"Almost," said Eric, still holding the man's gaze. Pam sighed, "This baby vamp is far more trouble than she's worth."

"I second that," Eric agreed. I sniffled as Pam led the poor guy out, talking to him softly. I noticed she handed him a bottle of water and a little jar of B12 vitamins. Everyone was ignoring me and I began to feel bad about nearly killing a person, even though he tasted so good. Then Eric told me to clean myself up and go to my coffin. The next night, he told me that I was a liability to his business and that I had to go back to Bill.

I was pissed. Even though I had no friends at Fangtasia, I never get to do anything with Bill. I mean, he's a mainstreamer. He drinks fucking _True Blood _instead of human blood, for crying out loud. And now I'm stuck drinking that shit, too. Bill's actually the one who gave me this diary. The night I came back he said,

"Jessica, perhaps if you were better occupied you will not have time to cause mischief. I know Eric may have let you run wild but things be different here. Here you will behave like a young lady and not a veritable urchin." I wasn't sure what sea animals had to do with me but then he told me he had a present and I got excited. Bill had never gotten me anything before. But then he handed me a simple leather-bound notebook.

I just looked at him.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I flipped through the blank pages boredly.

"It's a diary," Bill told me wearily. "You can use it to chronicle your experiences, keep a record of your thoughts. Surely, you must have some reaction to everything that has happened of late, something to say..."

"Oh, you bet I got a lot to say about this, mister- " I started, but Bill cut me off.

"Good. Then, please, take this as a symbol of a new beginning. I know this must all be very frightening but know that I have only your best interests at heart."

Bill seems to be an all right guy, I guess. I think he means well.

But does he have to be so fucking _lame_?

_**A/N: This is my first fic that is told from one character's POV. Please review so I know whether or not I should continue this!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**(**Disclaimer: As usual, I own none of these characters and a large portion of this story's dialogue is taken directly from True Blood and directly quoted or slightly modified. Happy reading!**)**_

Dear Diary,

Okay, I can't believe I'm writing in here again but I had to tell _someone_ about this, even if it's not a real person. Because oh my God. Just...oh my God. So guess what? Bill's got a girlfriend. I KNOW, right? Like, seriously? Even boring old Bill is dating someone but I'm not? Oh wait- does that mean Bill is getting laid and I'm not? How depressing. Ewwwwwww...I just pictured it in my mind! Gross.

But anyway, her name is Sookie Stackhouse. Weird name but she's okay I guess. She's young (well, way younger than Bill I think) and and pretty and blonde and...kind of a goody-two-shoes. I knew her coming over must be some kinda special 'cause Bill was acting all nervous so I decided to have some fun and pull a prank. Harmless, really. I heard her voice when I got out of the shower (because according to Bill, I had to change into "some decent attire") and decided to make her think I was Bill's girlfriend. So I flipped my wet hair a couple times and adjusted it over my shoulders so it looked all model-y, then loosely wrapped the towel around myself so that it would push my boobs right up for maximum cleavage. Then I popped up on the staircase right as I heard Bill say:

"Sookie, there is something I must tell you- " Then I plastered what I hoped was a seductive smile on my face and gushed,

"Bill, I just love your shower!"

Sookie raised her eyebrows so high I thought they'd go to heaven and then glared angrily at Bill. And Bill looked like...well, he looked like if he were still alive he would've had a heart attack. I just giggled and tried not to double over with laughter. My punishment was to go to bed at, like, 1am but it was sooo worth it.

Then Sookie wanted to know all about me. I found out the whole reason Bill had to turn me was 'cause it was his punishment for staking another vampire in order to save Sookie's life. I don't blame her for it but I can tell she feels guilty. She even said that later on me and her would hang out and have a girls night or something. That might be kinda cool. I've never had a grown-up want to spent time with me or care what I think. I've never had that from anyone my age either.

But that was a while ago. Since then nothing interesting has happened at ALL. Being un-dead is actually not as exciting as I thought it'd be. Like tonight, I've just been watching TV. Bill left a few hours ago and he was all: "Jessica, I have errands to run. Errands which do not require your presence. So remain here and do your best to stay out of trouble while I'm gone." Psh, it's not like I go looking for trouble. I guess it just sort of finds me. And, okay, Bill's not exactly the coolest of guys but at least he's _someone_. I don't know anyone else here and it kind of lonely without anyone to talk to.

Hey! I just saw myself on TV! I'm _missing_. I mean, you know, not actually missing 'cause I'm right here talking to you, but I just saw my face- and my _parents_- on one of those "Find the Missing Children" ads! Crazy, right? My mom looked so sad...Oh wait, hang on, someone's here. Maybe Bill's back!

That was Sookie. She was looking for Bill but he's obviously not here. It was kind of a relief to have someone to talk to, but I got all upset and I started crying like a baby- and crying _blood_. I only realized it after I wiped my face and my hands came up red. Totally gross but Sookie explained it to me:

"Sweetie, vampires don't cry regular tears. So from now on, you're gonna cry blood," she said.

"Well, why do you know that and I don't? I mean, don't you think I should know this about myself?" I said, sniffling.

"Bill should probably've told you."

"Geez, ya think?" I retorted sarcastically. Sookie handed me a tissue. I admitted to her that I did actually miss my family a little and she told me it was like her Gran dying. I know she was only trying to help but it's totally not the same thing. 'Cause grandparents are _supposed_ to die and leave their families behind- not the kids. But Sookie said that wasn't what mattered: "When people love each other, and then one of them isn't there anymore, it's the distance that hurts. And the distance is the same no matter who's doing the leaving."

I hadn't ever thought about it like that.

She also said she liked to sit in her Gran's room sometimes, 'cause it comforted her to be in places her grandmother had been. But I knew I'd never be able to do that. I would never be able to see or visit anywhere my parents had been. Unless-

"Do you think you could take me to see my parents' house?" I'd asked Sookie hopefully.

"Okay, I did not mean- you know I can't do that!" Sookie protested, but I cut her off.

"Please? I- I would just sit in the car, that's all I _swear_. All I'm asking is to sit across the street and catch a glimpse of them through the window. Just so I can say goodbye?"

"I'm sorry. It's just not my place…" Sookie shook her head. She told me to ask Bill, that if I explained it to him the way I explained it to her, then he would take me himself. But I wasn't so sure, and I could tell Sookie wasn't either. I began to cry again.

"Okay..." Sookie said slowly. "I'll take you."

"_Really?_"

"Yes. But we're just drivin' by and that's _it_."

"Oh, thank you Sookie! Thank you so SO much." I cried, jumping up.

"Oh, don't mention it." I nodded.

"To Bill," she said. Sookie turned around to look at me carefully. "Ever."

Like, okay duh, I'm not going to tell Bill! Why would I? He probably wouldn't want me to go in the first place. It's probably another one of his _Don'ts_: Don't curse, don't dress like a stripper, don't drink anybody's blood...ugh. That's good ol' Bill's motto: If it's fun, don't do it.

But I'm going to see my family! Momma and Daddy and Eden...But we'll have to go to Sookie's house first for some clothes because Sookie said she wouldn't dare take me out in public "dressed like that." All I had on was my pleated mini-skirt from Fangtasia and one of Bill's shirts. Eric let me wear stuff like that all the time when I lived with him. But I don't care about that now. As soon as Sookie gets done in the bathroom I'm going home! For a second, at least. I can't wait! Tell you all about it after- gotta go!

I just hope Bill doesn't find out.

**_A/N: Well, what did you think of chapter two? I tried to include more dialogue this time, so it wouldn't just be Jessica chattering on and on hahaha. Please, pleeeeeeease review so I know what you guys think! It helps!_**


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